I'm a rock

“Oh, hey, Rock. I didn’t see you there. Mind if I have a seat?
“Not in the least.”
“Boy, you are a nice looking rock, has anyone ever told you you’re a nice looking rock, Rock?”
“No.”
“I mean, look at all this colorful moss all over you.”
“That’s lichen.”
“Well, whatever it is, it looks nice. Does it bother you being all covered in it?”
“No.”
“Well, it looks nice––You don’t mind if I stretch out a little bit on you, do you?”
“No.”
“Ah, that’s better––so, tell me a bit about yourself, Rock.”
“I’m a rock.”
“Yeah, I can see that, but I mean where are you from, what do you do?”
“I sit here.”
“I see. Not much of a talker, are you, Rock? Well, if I had to guess, I say you were granite, which is a metamorphic rock. Do you know what a metamorphic rock is, Rock?”
“No.”
“It means you were formed deep inside the Earth from lots of heat and pressure. Isn’t that something?”
“Yes.”
“There are also igneous and sedimentary rocks. Someday you may even become a sedimentary rock, Rock, did you know that?”
“No.”
“Oh, yes. See, you may feel big and rocky now, but one day you’ll erode––you know how erosion works, right?
“No.”
“Well, like I said, you’re rocky now, but after a few million rain showers you’ll be a pile of sand. Look, you're even crumbling already––see this piece, I can just––oops, sorry about that, Rock.”
“That’s okay.”
“But see, there’s nothing to worry about, because you can become other types of rocks. I see you’ve got your heart set on being a rock, but the fact of the matter is you cannot be granite forever––you just can’t. The sooner you get that through your stony brain, the better. But I don’t want to worry you rock, because I think you’d make a great sandstone. Wouldn’t you like to be sandstone someday?”
“Well––”
“Sandstone is great––and there’s also limestone, though I don’t know if granite can become limestone––perhaps not enough lime. But there are some great sandstone landscapes. You ever been to the Canyon Lands in Utah––no, of course you haven’t, you’re a rock.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m just going to sit here quietly and take in the landscape a bit.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty. Say, Rock, you want to here a joke?”
“Sure.”
“What did the sedimentary rock say to the teacher during the test to become a metamorphic rock?”
“What?”
“’This is too much pressure!’”